The Raven said to the Porcupine, when asked if he should fake happiness, that it doesn't start with sincerity.
With what then, does it start?
My initial love and profound caring for Cath has dwindled, is slowly leaving me like an illness. While i care for her, it is not the love i felt in DC and the week after. i was sure it was true with Cath, especially in contrast to KT, and with this transition i now scrutinize every relationship have ever had: did i love Esme? Did i love ExA?
It may be her tendency to text me incessantly. She has a level of neediness that wasn't apparent at first. Or, i am so emotionally fucked up that i don't want those who are needy (Daisy, Cath) or those who are self centered (ExA), or there is a middle ground that i have yet to encounter.
The femme fatale and i have a date tomorrow night. She made a comment about how we are doing it backwards, referring to the tryst we had almost two weeks ago. i fear that i will be getting myself into another relationship, when all i want to do is fuck her.
