inhuman service

i work in human services, with people who are developmentally disabled. RI has been good about funding services for the last 20 years or so, on part because of the late Senator John Chafee. Now that the state is in a deficit, they needed to take a look at the funding. The agency i work for, along with the others, set about working with the state department that oversees us, hoping the changes would not only reduce costs but keep them high in quality.

The agency i work for has reduced it's operations by $2.5 million over the last three years. Uncomfortable, yes, but necessary. However, it isn't enough for those currently in power. Now the cuts are malicious, the climate of working together is no longer and we are now running homes staffed at a dangerous level.

i am fortunate to have a job, and will do what it takes to keep people with disabilities out of institutions. But the onslaught of attacks from our legislators over the past few weeks has beaten us down; we all walk around like zombies, lifeless and decaying, wondering where this bloodlust has come from.

Human services is just the next scapegoat in the wave of many others: illegal immigration, same sex couples...if you're vulnerable, you're next.

or foe

One of the more interesting (said with the tone of someone who just found a pile dog shit in the shape of Rodin's "The Thinker") aspects of Bacefook is how it has skewed the concept of friendship.

Before i joined the ranks, years ago i was doing a training and during the break two of the women in their 20's were discussing their Bacefook pages; the behemoth social networking site was a couple of years old at that point. As they discussed how many people were listed as their friends, i asked about the trueness of the friendships. One of the women said, "I have only my closest 200 friends on it."

i am pretty sure that she didn't even hear what she was saying, or thought that maybe i was stuck in the old fashioned concept of friendship, of what "close" meant.

Now that i have an account, i try and be careful in how i use it- as many of us have found, it is great for staying in touch with friends and families who live far away, and can be a great tool for inspiring a thread on your quirky comment or an obscure lyric. However, i recently encountered two of my Bacefook "friends" in public; one was a peripheral acquaintance in high school, the other, a friends of my sister's. As i smiled broadly as they approached, anticipating a real life exchange, they walked past, not recognizing me or choosing not to engage.

i laughed at the oddness of having interacted with them through the false world of cyberspace but was anonymous to them in person.

That'll Learn Me

i was given a very nice Guild 12 String guitar from a co-worker, similar to this. It is more of a rhythm instrument, and, as i am not a lead player, i seek to play with a second person so that it doesn't just sound like yet another guy with a guitar playing Eagles covers.

To quote the band Cracker, "What the world needs now is another folk singer like i need a hole in my head."

Tonight i played with a a guy who was in one of my favorite RI bands in the 80's and early 90's, That'll Learn Ya, a real sweet guy who is part of a collective of musicians that inspire and encourage me to keep at it.


We had a lot of fun playing songs from our childhood, The Replacements, The Pixies, and just talking music; i love to hear his stories from the Learn Ya days.

Every time i play, alone or with someone, i wish that i had worked harder at learning guitar in my younger days. i received my first guitar when i was 15, but quickly bored of lessons and only wanted it so i could turn my "poetry" into songs...i simply thought, "Someday i'll have time to be better."

i am a better player, not great, but enough to put my mind at ease, feel as though i am accomplishing something.

breathing.