this is the world calling

What do you do when something like the tornado in Joplin occurs? When you hear daily reports about rebels dying in the battle for independence in Syria? When a plane goes down killing all on board and you know that included at least one baby?

Having the Internet and all of our communication has made us all a village, but sometimes i cannot take the helplessness i feel when the other villagers are suffering, dying.

i know the cliche- you do what you can in your own part. So i volunteer at my food pantry, volunteer to get same sex marriage passed in my state, give to charities, but it doesn't feel like enough.

i do not want to be desensitized by what i hear on the news, and it's so hard to not let appreciation form into guilt as i sip a large iced chai on my way to a hike in our beautiful woods.

through the drinking glass

i cringed while reading that last post, but will leave it up as a lesson of why i shouldn't blog while drunk.

Not in love with anybody, just experiencing a crush that has inspired some pretty good poetry. Still, i have written poems for women before that meant no more than a passing appreciation of some beautiful, some radiance.

Should have left my drunk experience to some obnoxiousness i engaged in while at the bar: when my friends started playing Beatles' songs in their set, i turned to two of my other friends and said that i hated the Beatles and i was glad that two were dead.

i'll take being an asshole over being some mushy romantic any day.

drunk

i needed alcohol to anesthetize me from a troubling work week: our budget is being reduced so we have let one department and one full time videographer go. The videographer was my responsibility, a great guy who talked music with me and brought me to metal shows. Not just any metal shows, great metal shows, like Katatonia.

Today we let him know that his job was being eliminated... he asked, hopefully, could he take a pay cut? My supervisor, replied that the future is so bleak that a pay cut wouldn't make a dent in what we need to reduce.

Two Jager shots and i don't know how many beers later, i am looking at a world that is beautiful for no good reason. i saw some friends play, we collected as a group, none of them knowing that i needed a night of beauty.

And, i have hesitated writing about this, but i have fallen in love with a woman at my work place. It will come to nothing- she is married, and i will never affect someone's marriage again.

Still, the poetry that is coming to me, inspired by her simplest movements, makes me glad to be alive again, appreciative of all that is beautiful.

Poor Noire, she won't know what hit her. Again.