fuck dancing, let's art

This past rainy Saturday was looking dismal, especially for entertaining a 7 and 4 year old.

Luckily we have the RISD museum, and even more incredible is that day was the celebration of the new Chihuly exhibit.

i used to be suspicious of glass blowing- my older sister, who I adore, and I once argued about the functionality of glass art. This was as we walked galleries in Seattle, some of which was probably Chihuly's. Looking back i see how foolish i had been, because everything i have seen by Chihuly makes me wish i could become a domestic servant of his just to be near his work.

His new work is amazing- the pieces and the way they are displayed makes one feel as though they are walking into a temple, one that developed naturally in an underground cavern. My daughters even loved it, as much as they could, but really wanted to see the Buddha on the fourth floor.

The Buddha was always my favorite, too.

dawning

I surprised myself last night.

While laying in bed next to my four year old, listening to her sleep, i thought about how much i love my life.

It's been six months since i have felt this. Before then, i said it almost daily, in spite of my marriage being devoid of caring, i felt all other areas of my life- my children, my job, my friends- were more than i could even want.

This was helped this week by making a breakthrough, removing A from the pedestal. It came to me that if she could welcome two men into our bed within months of the disintegration of our marriage that she never knew what she was saying to me when she told me she loved me.

Freed of that illusion, content filled me, and it was okay to have my heart open again.

All of this fortune amidst the soft breaths of a sleeping child.

Festering

Wickford had a two day Harborfest this past weekend. Last year's was a bit bigger, but this year's lost no charm. A nice selection of food and entertainment.

Of note is Keith Munslow a children's entertainer who originated with the Big Nazo Puppets. It was the second time we have seen him, and he never disappoints... I usually have way too much fun myself. He manages to relate to kids (and adults) with being condescending, something I find all too prevalent with children's entertainment (hear that, Barney, you asshole?!).

He made the day for my daughters, even ahead of the ice cream.

this week

Am i still here? i am.

Problem is, you're not.

This week has been one of enlightenment and confusion. Eventually we will be just two acquaintances who have children to raise. Not so sad... the future holds endless possibilities, possibilities that once included you but you have been successfully excised from them.

Successfully excised? Exorcised?

seeing movies in a bicycle helmet

A magical afternoon- long bike ride, end up at the movie theatre, see a movie all by myself.

i saw Vicky Cristina Barcelona. As a big Woody Allen fan, i know that he has the impossible task of surpassing his own movies (as far as i am concerned he has made so many great films that he can do drunken frat movies for the rest of his life), but the stereotype of the "uptight, analytical" woman who needed enlightening was so John Hughesian that I wondered throughout the film where he was going with it. Granted, he managed to offer another perspective, but I found the characterizations of Vicky and Cristina so one dimensional it annoyed me, especially because I go to his films to see his wonderfully unique and believable characters. Don't even get me started on Vicky's husband, who is such an archetype that he may have actually been lifted from "Pretty in Pink."

It was still very good, and funny throughout. I especially enjoyed seeing Javier Bardem in another role since I am still catatonic after seeing his fantastic performance in "No Country For Old Men". I related to the questions about love posed in the film, especially Cristina's recurring comment that she "doesn't know what she wants but knows what she doesn't want."


On another note, my oldest daughter tends to be overly serious and egocentric, which describes most 7 year olds, but she did something very cute this morning.

When she and her younger sister stay with me, they often do not want to stay in the same bed because of how sensitive L*** is to her sister's movements. Well, last night they did sleep together and I slept elsewhere. At 6 AM or so I was awakened by L***, who said, "Daddy, will you come sleep in the bed with C******? She's moving a little and I know that means she's waking up and will be sad if you're not there with her."

What an act of such selflessness.