On Friday, i went to see a local band that has been playing for about 30 years. There is a renewed interest in them since a local filmmaker used them in his movie about a RI landmark, Rocky Point, so they've been doing reunion shows.
I have attended almost all of their shows over the last year and a half. Often, ExA's best friend, Lilith, will contact me and ask if we can go together, as her usual friend cannot make it. i do not mind this, as it is a nice common ground.... after the divorce, i had wanted to stay friends with her and her husband, but found it difficult to do so; it is much easier staying unconnected or loosely connected to those within her life.
This connection with Lilith was challenged last Easter weekend. Already a difficult anniversary for me, we sat at the show and chatted. She then said, "I guess we'll see you tomorrow!" She then "caught" herself, remembering i wouldn't be at ExA's house when they went for the annual Easter Egg hunt.. i put caught in parentheses as at times her actions seem not as accidental as she would have the listener believe.
This last time, she was sweet. As i followed her and her friend outside so they could smoke, she said, aloud, "This divorce thing is not working for me." i was confused, as i thought she was talking about her and her husband, but she corrected me and told me she meant my divorce. She then went on to tell me a cute story about The Sea and her first day of school; i guess the opening comment was to preface that she needed to tell me the story, that if we were still together i would know it first hand.
i know that i grasp at the smallest things, and embrace them like they are monuments, but it is these little moments that make me happy that someone else misses my marriage, that i am not a freak.
