wandering as a cloud

The days are just lonely. Especially after i take the girls home- their home, the one that screams "Not yours!"

Everything that is not mine looms over me day in and day out. i know what i want to do, the one thing that is mine, but cannot, being a man of my word.. which makes me laugh, because if i was a man of my word i wouldn't be in this situation.

i know what i have, and am very thankful for it, but why isn't it enough for me to forget about A? Why does she have such a hold on me? She certainly isn't being ambivalent in her actions. It's all too clear just how little i mean to her.

So why can't i think so little of her?