dreams of a butterfly

i love dreams, purely as entertainment. i do not believe that dreams hold cosmic messages for us- they are just vomit from our subconscious, freed at night when our brain is not occupied with our waking life.

That said, i have had some very odd incidents where dreams were almost prescient, but i chalk this up to timing. Still i cannot escape the ripples of a dream like the one i had last night.

There was a lot to this dream, but i cannot remember it. The part i do remember is walking onto a beach where there were a lot of people just standing about, dressed in street clothes, not talking with one another, just THERE. The sky was gray and it may have been drizzling. As i walked up to the shoreline, i saw that one of the people was a high school classmate of mine who passed away in 2005. We weren't close, but he was an all around good guy that everybody liked- i had become friendlier with him as we planned our 20th high school reunion that year.

Anyway, without any connection to any previous scene from the dream, the dream me asked him, "Why is life so hard?" He replied,"Because you have to experience all of it."

i have racked my brain for something that would have caused this random answer, but cannot explain it away, other than more subconscious vomit that has taken some pseudo philosophical quote from a poster and kicked it back as this guy's words. Still, the way it was said haunts me, as it was not as though he just had a walk on part like in other dreams; his presence was purposeful. i have had dreams about others who have died, with similar realness, and want to believe, almost do, that they are those people using the dream medium to communicate.

His answer stayed with me, even after i awoke, and while i am not entirely convinced it is not subconscious diarrhea, i so much want to believe his words, want them to take away this cancer that lives in me that is ExA.