A friend, who i shall name Jools, and i went to Philly this past weekend to visit our friend PJ. PJ was married last October and they had a baby in March.... do some quick math.
He is not adjusting well to being a father, as it has taken so much of his independence, nor being so far from his family. i fear that his marriage may be collateral damage, although i am pretty sure that even if they didn't have a child that he would be enthralled with being married for only so long.
Some love commitment, some don't. It's no secret that i loved it, and regret everyday that i have lost mine to her. Not to say that it wasn't for the best, but the science of accepting life's tragedies with a dismissive justification angers me.
"When God closes a door, he opens a window."
"Life is what happens when you're making other plans."
"Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted."
We sat outdoors at a bar on 23rd Street, drinking and discussing his frustration. Inevitably, he or Jools made the cliched comment- "You always want what you cant have."
i told them that they were wrong, that it is not a matter of simply envying where you are not. i loved being married, loved being committed, and with the exception of a very difficult nine months i was very appreciative of ExA. Still, i cannot ask him to not act hastily; i can see in his demeanor that he will- it has always been about him, and he has a hard time making room for others.
But, despite the threesome he had while with his wife to be, despite his oddly pointed attempts to disturb me with ExA's attraction to him, despite his occasional verbal knives that belittled me in front of others, i love him like a brother, and want him to be happy.
