So, Noire and i still go to Wilco, and although i really want to see them, i am pretty sure this is not a good idea. Not having a wide range of relationship experience, i am like the person who wakes up at 3 AM and gropes in the darkness on his way to the bathroom. Going to Wilco was a stub to my right toe.
After making small talk for the first hour and a half, we finally delve into the conversation about Thursday. Immediately, she recants everything she said about wanting kids, wanting marriage, wanting us to see each other more than twice a week. This leaves me in a position to tell her that while that is all well and fine, i need to think about what i want. We watch the show, and agree to talk on Tuesday.
Tuesday needs to be canceled, because of a meeting that i had thought was Monday. Before walking into that meeting, i receive an irate call from her- it turns out that when you remove (REMOVE, not change) your relationship status on Bacefook that it sends out an update that you are no longer in a relationship. As this thought gels in my head, Noire screams at me that i had no intention of continuing the relationship and took that opportunity to tell her. While i am pretty sure i don't, this is not how i want it to end, her believing i did something scummy such as let everyone know on Bacefook.
Thursday comes, we meet in a park,and i tell her that i do not want to continue. She is angry, betrayed, mocking, belittling, all of the things i have come to know. i look out the windshield to one of the trees flowering white, and swear to never do this again until i am over ExA.
And then, at another level of thought, secretly hope that i am never over her.
