i tried to break up with Noire. i rehearsed my words over and over, deciding that the best way to open the conversation was, "i don't want to continue with us." i thought (THOUGHT) it would be less confrontational, but it wasn't.
i sit there, as i have two other times these past couple of years, and wonder why i don't feel, don't care about their disappointment and sadness, sit emotionless as they cry, or spew angry words, or both... usually both.
She pointed out to me that she had felt dips in our relationship and had considered breaking up with me, but worked through it.... i decided to give it a try. While we are still together, it is not without stress fractures; she rarely passes up an opportunity to remind me about how sad she is, as demonstrated in this text transcript:
Me: What time are we getting together?
Her: 7 PM
Me: Will you have eaten by then?
Her: Probably not, since I haven't eaten in two days.
(i don't text back)
Her: prob good for weight loss, but, yes we can get something to eat.
i don't blame her for being sad and angry, i just wish people who were sad and angry with me said something to the effect of, "I am sad and angry with you," rather than this passive aggressive bullshit.
