As we lay together, i am moved by her beauty, which multiplies in the slivers of light that see through my bedroom windows. This feeling is familiar, tasting all that is beautiful, warm, spiritual. While i would like to believe it is because of Noire, it is not. i haven't taken medications in over two weeks, so all of their dampening is out of my system, allowing me to again experience the world in which came of age.
It is not all good; i find myself on the brink of tears more than one should. But they're not all because of ExA, and in this i am comforted.
When i see Seraph, all of her sweetness is amplified; i wonder if i made a mistake.
Cath contacts me cautiously at times; i love talking with her, and wonder if i made a mistake.
i then retreat into the world i share with ExA, the one she has no idea exists, the one i am ashamed to keep, and there, there is no wondering if i made a mistake.
