a wax museum

I have a friend staying with me, and her husband, while they sort out some of her family stuff. This friend was at one time my girlfriend, for five years, through college; we broke up 22 years ago. She is the one i often refer to as Esme in this blog. Noire is very understanding, but i ask myself, does she need to be? Esme and i have been friends four times as long as we were lovers, and while a section of my heart will always be dedicated to her- she was my first love- it's as though it happened to someone else, as though i am reading a history book. i remember a lot about that five years, but the affection and love that weaved in and out is no longer within me, save that tiny piece of affection you reserve for the first person who your heart embraced. Esme is one of two i hope to always have as a friend, the second being Daisy, and many, many people have eyed me suspiciously over the years at remaining friends with exes. It is not as if i do it to maintain some principle, something to prove to myself who I can be. And i was relieved when it ended with ExA.