rents

i love my parents out of duty, not out of affection that grows from being shown love. i didn't realize what i was missing until encountering two epiphanies:

1. Meeting people who love their parents and choose to spend time with them
2. Having children of my own and enjoying them, not acting as if they are in the way.

That said, it has been a challenging couple of years as my mother deteriorates cognitively and psychically. She went into a nursing home two weeks ago, under the impression that she was going to go home after rehabilitation, but it doesn't look as though she can. Her needs are so great my father cannot care for her at home.

Whenever i visit her, she is able to attend most of the time- conversation vacillates between sharp memories and questions about what day it is. However, she always says to me, and i imagine others, "I just want to go home." And when she says this, i find my empathy for her growing, in a way i haven't felt since a child.