evol

There are times when i feel as though i could be in love with Noire. Although, i fear that this might be more in the realm of need, rather than love.

It's odd when you are in a relationship where all of the usual ingredients are present- physical attraction, respect, appreciation for personality, friendship- and yet cannot get to that last part.

She is patient, waits for me to renege on the two tenets i told her on our first date: marriage and more children are not in my future. At times she cannot oblige me, due to her own clock ticking, and asks, "Do you know what it's like to be in love with someone who does not feel the same for you?"

i do. i don't tell her that it's what i feel for ExA, but she hints at knowing.

Most days the pain of loving again is too great to bear.