Fascinated with the word accident. In the past, when i heard it i would think of two, or more, vehicles colliding. As a grow older, i see how accidents fit into the fabric of life, and marvel at how they synchronize with the rest of life's events.
Running into a friend from high school in Manhattan where he was going to school. Deciding to seek a management position in the company i have been at for 20 years instead of pursuing teaching. Walking into the gift store ExA's mother owns to buy cards and meeting her.
There are those who are so removed from themselves they will claim that a purposeful action is an accident. i know, because i have been a master of being purposeful under the guise of accidents.
"Accidentally" finding myself at the same bar as a woman i had a crush on. "Accidentally" calling her number. Each time i slipped into infidelity, i did so under the illusion of not really being aware of my actions, these "accidents." i denied what my actions truly meant, removed myself from responsible action.
Being mindful has been a priority these last few years, and with it, being true to the universe. The Four Agreements call it being impeccable with your word. i no longer have accidents on purpose.
Hopefully.
2 comments:
wow. where have i been? "each time i slipped into infidelity"? how often did that happen?
Well, in addition to the one time documented tirelessly here, there were two other times while in another relationship. We used infidelity passive aggressively to get at one another. i do not want to be a scumfuck, so there will be no more occurrences.
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