Early in the day i realized that the heaviness within me was not fatigue, but sadness that today is the first anniversary of my trespass. Where i used to ask why i now repeat my favorite mantra: it is what it is and there is nothing you can do. Not exactly comforting, but, not unlike a song played over and over becomes popular because of it's saturation, it keeps life in painful perspective.
In meditation, we say "Don't know." I have spent my whole life knowing, to see it otherwise is so foreign it feels like a crime against nature.
There is no fairness, no sense of balance. I am not sure why i have such faith in Karma.
