weights

My desk at work is cluttered with papers (especially embarrassing in this day and age when all of our files are electronic) and nick knacks i have been given over the years, like an over sized coffee mug painted by The Land when she was three years old, a small Darth Vader ceramic figurine with a hollow head for holding candy.

Today i went to re-arrange Darth, as he was becoming crowded by the lamp and one other item: a glass paper weight in the shape of a heart. ExA gave it to me, most likely for Valentine's Day. Her gifts were perfectly executed demonstrations of the holiday or event.

i have shed so many items that she had given me, i wondered how this had survived this long. It went into the top drawer of the desk, always the first step before permanently disposing of something, kind of like a limbo for items whose value i am not quite sure about. As the drawer closed, i was surprised to find myself tearing up.

This evening, a co-worker was driving me back to my car and asked why i was thinking about moving to Vermont. i hesitate telling anybody, but i said it; it was too late in the day to lie.

She, like so many, cannot believe how much my heart still belongs to her.