i find it odd how people automatically assume depression is about sadness, or has overtones of sadness, or is rooted in sadness.

For me, it's about disconnection, alienation, all of those words we used in our angst ridden, teenage poetry. When it hits, i feel like an observer to a world that i am not part of.

There is a line from a Cure song, fairly obscure B-side, that says:

The further i get from the things that i care about
the less i care how much further away i get.

That said it pretty well, until i discovered American Music Club a few years later. Their song "Sick of Food" said it better:

i'm sick of food, so why am i so hungry?
i was sick of you, but i don't mind seeing your little face around.
i was sick of love, so i just stopped feeling,
but i couldn't find anything to take its place.

Huzzah to those of you who can find a sliver of light in the darkness.

So concludes a post from my 17 year old self.